♥

Im still procrastinating on our Krabi trip videos. Ive already posted some of the photos on my VR multiply. I wanted to put all 519 photos but it will take 43hours,they say. SO TAK PAYAH SUA. haha. Since i lack the patience and tolerance for things like these, i shall upload our videos painstakingly,one by one. So, this is Video #1. it took me like an hour? god,god.

Work has been tiring,i must say. Always so busy. We just sent one of patients to ICU yday so it wasnt that smooth flowing after all. Im starting on my night tonight. Am with a couple of boring people but am glad,veryveryvery glad that im doing night with Weishan,the least! & ST is with me too. -_- confirm member bingit nampak aku niari malam. but shes nice la actually. cumer irritating. macam aku. HAHA. you know how people of the same species cant or dont really attract each other? like that lah. HAHAHHA.

anwwayyyyyy,Went to help out at Lyn's bday bash,trying to deco the whole place up but,after blowing lesser than 20 balloons, we gave up. I think, i really think im scared of popping balloons! So, we ended up just lying in bed, watchin this Malay drama telemovie. After which, Apai & Ayn came over and i left with Aidil since i had to work the very next day. Which is very bummer eh. Tapi bagos jugak la,cause i cant afford to take another sick leave. no way, hossaaayy ((: nanti bonus susah,tak boleh gi travelling! ((:

Yday was ah-okay i guess. I was on morning and god damnit, it was freakin x10000000000000 busy! I was pratically running throughout my shift. Didnt have my well-deserved break and by the time it was 2.30pm, i was shagged. Im glad i managed to finish up everything. and oh, transporting a certain uncle from 72 to IPS to SICU to IPS again. like what the fuckk,but i am proud of myself. i think all we need is time management,im finally getting hold of it now,after nearly 10months. im a slow learner but i learn,at least.

so after work, i headed to Aidil's. had my lunch with his family there and all. he wanted to watch Heroes online so aku ikotkan,but well well, what do you know? I fell asleep on his bed while he was sitting on the floor. Haha. I was sooo tired. Tried to open my eyes to like stay awake cause kan, tak manis mak dier tgk aku tido macam babi! but i cudnt la.sorry la bb, to drool on ur pillow. HAH. after sleeping and waking up for at least 3 times, i told him, we better get out of your house before i sleep and never wake up. HAHAHA. so, we headed to The Cathay to watch Semipros. WOAH,at least better than Meet The Spartans sial. i fuckin hate that movie. blardy basket. i shall NOT talk abt it cause it has the ability to agitate me a whole lot! goddd. but Semi Pros was okay, and since Aidil & I werent fighting anymore, it got better. Haha.

I reached home at about 1am and i was talking to Lyn via Msn and out of all the random things in the whole wide world, we decide to meet! so i went out again. haha.Ama,kau hebat! nak isap rokok dtg all the way from tpy to st george. Hah. baik baik. we end up talkin n talkin,both of us were sooo sleepy! Haha.

Okay, i wanna run down to get food and hopefully that will make me sleepy and i shall sleep before i get ready for work! I really like the Lemon Chicken Rice downstairs. Pffffttt. okay, i shall run now! HUNGRRY.

♥

Work was fine today until some self-centred dickheadtress tried to be unreasonable! Woah. But lucky,my mouth was fast enough. Too bad bitch, yours cant beat mine.*rollseyesmanymany* Aku dah bbual,tersenyap kau! DAM KRA DUK JING JOK!!!!! babi. Geram sials.

Anyway, MEIMEI DAH PASS TP!!! KIWAKKK!! JEALOUS KAPER AKU!! this is my biggest problem,i must say. I always have difficulty in finishing what i start. SIGHS. Oh pleaseeee. It has been too long already. She finished hers in less than 5 months i think. Aku, 2 tahun pun belom pass pass. Tskkk. After her test, when she was waiting for the results, i was restless at home. So anxious n nervous!! God. But alhamdulilah. Bawak motor baikbaik eh mei. Skrg, u can fetch me from work and then we can go supper together!! HAHAHAHA. gerekkk or wutt.

a gf of mine just got cheated on by her bf. thats the problem with girls. when boys stray and cheat us and do all things unfaithful, we cry and cry and whine because we think we arent good enough.i think it is not fair! When men stray, people say the women arent good enough, arent loving enough,arent caring enough, arent capable enough or sometimes even, arent pretty enough. But when women stray, they call us names; sluts bitches n whores. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

-.- i have many many public frustrating issues that is on my mind,but i shall mandi and sleep cause im working tml. GOD,what a mofucken dragg.

love is funny because it can also make you angry and sad.

♥

Howddddddyyyy!

Had a splendid night. Headed off to Lyn's after my afternoon yesterday for her mini bday bash. It was only me,ayn & apai. We bought her a small tini piece of cake and we had macdees delivered to us,bawah block. Padehal kiter dah celebrate tau,cumer Lyn refuses to go out on her bday(??) and so we had to go to her la kan. Manje tak agakagak siol! Cik kak,dah 21 eh tolong.

Now, im nursing my very,very sore throat and my spinning head. I think its because of yday's N95 mask episode. I was in Rm 12, fixing the beeping terumo pump and after like 3minutes in that room,i felt so suffocated. SO,SO suffocated that i began to tear, my chest feels so tight. I dropped everything and excused myself from the room. Outside, i took out my mask and lips were dry and i find myself hyperventilating for a good 1 minute i think. And then,after that til the end of shift, i had supa,dupa dry cough. You know the one when u feel as though a dry and wrecked feather is stuck by the tip of your oesophagus and u feel like coughing AND sneezing but u cant just decide which one to do first? Ya like that. Sleeping in lyn's room was a bad,bad idea not because that it wasnt comfortable but i think the aircon affected me. Woke up at 5am,called the ward and yah, aper lagik. Takkan aku nak gi keje dengan tekak aku mainmain dengan perasan aku kan. This has to stop,it is only March,but well again, i dont want to suffer from another episode of hyperventilation,again.

Movinnggg on..sneakk peek! (:

Oh anyway, izyan just passed me the 2 burnt CDs with all our 519 photos annddd, videos! Oh, in the above photo, if u guys haf difficulty in spotting us, we are both seated on your left and holdin to the rope for our dear,dear lives! But the experience as u can see on our faces, was fantastic! kiter cool sangatsangat, apasal? inside joke okay. & just fyi, our official site is under construction now! i just watched our videos for the 23819348123231 time now and i will not blame u guys if u people dont understand us! In most of them, we are just blabbering n v-bloggin. So expect randomness! Hah.

Again, childhood friends will always be the best! Oh & I dont think i am gonna blog about the whole trip now,cause im at Lyn's and i think we need sleep. We have been up the whole night and yah,it has been a long,long time since the three of us hung out like that. I want to have ALs just to hang out with my friends and do absolutely nothing. ohh,that would be great.Dgn dorangla aku boleh merepek meraban taik apek kau makan. Gitu arh.

I cant wait for tonight. Bb! Rindu siak dah 2 hari tak jumpe. Love does this to us,doesnt it? ohh baby love,baby love,baby love til the sun comes down~! ((: okkkkk,tak tau lyric. kk bye.

♥

Happy 21st Birthday, Lyn!!
May your life be filled with love and happiness,always!

Insyallah.

♥

Azri's 21st Bday Bash.

Hope u loved what we planned for you.

xoxo.

♥

things with aidil are crappy again, i cant stand it. seriously, i am so filled up to the brim, i dont know how much more i can take in. i am so irritated, macam nak tumbok, macam nak tarik rambot. so so geram. i need theraphy,of any kind. each and every conversation with him ended up sour and i always end up feeling beaten. kalau dah happy, happyyyyyyyyyy sangat. kalau dah merepek, macam gini arh. i hate it. i want to be happy again. i want to be able to talk to you nicely and laugh about everything that we talked about. what is it that we are missing? what is it that we are lacking? i have no idea. We are taking way too long.

I am on the way to meeting my favourite 4-month old girl. Maybe she can make me feel a hell lot better.

♥

we dont always take the nicest photos, we are not always nice to each other.sometimes i feel like just punching you in your gut, slap you in ur face and then just walk away from you and never, never ever look back. how can you love me so much,and still make me cry? how do you do all that? but you know what, give me any other man and i can live with him.

but, i cant live without you.

♥

I think i will have a full entry only when i get all our 519photos and videos!

If i blog now n post photos here & there, it will be v messy.

So, i will wait.

Meanwhile, i am going out with the usuals today!

Its Azri's 21st!!

♥

Today was hectic! I was running all over the place,doing errands for myself,trying to get everything done and settled for my flight tml night! ((: I still cant believe that i am flying off tml. like literally, flying off! Both izyan and i are mofuckenblooodyexcited that we havent even started packing! I just dumped a heap of clothes in my washing machine so i can slowly choose what clothes im gonna bring for Krabi. Pfft. My initial budget was slashed but 1/4 due to reasons which i choose not to talk about now, because if i talk abt it now, i will never stop and i might even be tempted to burn down a certain building. so, might as well, not.

Today was also, Abg Firdaus's engagement! This is the first time that i am from the pihak lelaki so i get to see a different view of things. Still, i have NO idea why the man is not supposed to don the ring for the fiancee. WHY EH. instead, a wakil? So,since bapak aku the eldest dalam family,mummy got the honour to don the engagement ring on rina's finger, which member sungguh excited sekali! HAH. and jgn jadi bodoh la korang, when i say member, it means mak aku la kan. DUH.mak aku tersayang ni kan cine, so bende melayumelayu ni seme, dier very jakon! woahh,matimati lepas makan tak nak balik sial, member nak tengok lagi!!woahhh. but i was also excited la right, since i am the daughter to the 'member' who donned the ring. so aku pun tompang excited. HAHAHAHAH. eh tapi cool la, abg fir kasi rina this barbie cake, which is SOOOOOO adorable. n i so want a cake like that for my 21st birthday or something. *hinthinttoAIDIL&toeveryonewholoves/adoresme* HEEEEE! ((: cute perrrr. and of course,it was a grand thing cause abg fir is the first in my family to be at that level. dont ask about the rest of us, we all all fucking unstable with our lives so cannot make it yet. im sure if yayi were to be around, he will be damn proud! imissyou,yayi.

but that wasnt the only kawin2 event that we attended today. we went over to mak sapi's house to help around since abg zul nak kawin besok. sorry la people, abg abg sedare aku ni,seme mat kawin kawin so cant help it la right. so me mummy and meimei seboksebok at geylang bahru which we saw a hell lot of our old neighbours and i think my whole family is quite famous in geylang bahru because of my grandfather. yayi used to make the best meerebus and mee soto in geylang bahru and he used to have a stall there, so everybody who stayed there long enough knows him. and in turn, of course, anakanak dier pun famous after that and of course, since his passing, cucucucu dier pun tumpang famous. so there was alot of old neighbours who i haven see since i was like 4? and they were all like, " woahhh, ni amalina kan. dah besar kau!" and slap me on my arms. okaylah,just say that i am fat now. tsk. cannot help it la i think, cause when i was smaller, i used to be tiny and pretty and..ermmm..cute. haha.

okay, i think im blabbering a little too much. for photos,now!

cute kan ni cake!!IWANTT!

luq abgfad meimei

daddy mummy

lawa jgk adik aku ni

bynkbynk tempat, tepi tong sampah jugak kau nak

harny thought he was my uncle.padehal adik sedare okayy.

WOAHHH.CHEY CEY SEYY MUMMYYY!

excited kan muke dierrr!

rinaaa. i heard she's my age.

-_-

notice, aku tembel niari! of all the days!!

ni nenek aku.

hadi tengok aku pelik arh.

tresnoooo vista.

kk. that's it! ((: night people!

OOOHHH I FORGOT!!! KRABIIIII!!!!!!

izyan are u mofucken readddddyyyy????!

♥

So how was it going,yall?! Work has been tough,had to juggle work and social life and i am glad that i am able to do it. I had an idea of what to do for Daddy's 60th but i think i must seek a second opinion from Mum. Im sure he will love it la, and no people, i am not trying to get my dad into a club. It is something solemn, and maybe it will do us good as a family. Oh wells. His bday is months away so ive got months to plan for it!

Date check, THREE days to Krabi. The only thing that im nervous about is my passport collection,tomorrow. They tried to be difficult the other time and i hope,with the report, i will be able to collect it tml. WOOOHOOO, excited. mofuckingexcited!

Im also excited because bb is sending me off & i already have an idea of which bag im gonna bring! I cant wait to river raft, elephant trek and bask in the sun! (: I hope this trip goes well because i think i deserve it! Ive been working my ass off,since like the start of this year and i need to get away. NEED.

Oh, lately, i have been very irritated with mrt commuters! WAHLAO. you know, singaporeans are just one kind? even before the train comes, they will wait in front of the door for the train. kalau hidong boleh plaster pat tu pintu,aku rase they will spare no expense to doing that! FOR WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. especially nyonyanyonya, makcikmakcik. HELLO? there was like one time when i saw one makcik practically runnin to the empty seat, i glared at her, made sure she saw my glare and mouth "KIASSSUU SIALLLSSS" to her. fucking cibai. babi siak perangai. how much MORE ugly can we get eh? cant we be a little more graceful? buat malu seh. aku tau lah,korang dah tuer, penat. but cant u be little more graceful? so at least, when we give up the seats to you old people, sedap sikit hati kite,kan? korang peh tektik salah babe. tsktsk. tapi really, memalukan. ishk.

and oh yah, i wanna complain abt ica not allowing me to collect my passport without my ic. wahlao. i brought my current passport instead so i could verify and they refused! SO APER GUNENYE PASSPORT IF I CANT USE IT TO VERIFY MYSELF?!!!! and yah, the enquiry hotline they gave me was useless eh! cakap aje from 8-5pm, but when i call, i end up being on hold for 10 freakin minutes listening to mozart. WAHLAO. korang buat klakar pe? if i cant get help from the helpline, then aper gunenye tu helpline???? KAU CUBER BILANGGG AKU. woahhh, i very angry already. i was soooo agitated, i cried on the bus on the way home cause i cudnt get through. TSKKKK. gerammm siakkk.

okayyyy, enufff. HAVE YOU ALL WATCHED STEP UP 2?!!! GEEREEKKK? hahahha. aku lum tengok but i might be watchin tml so i am freaggin exciteddd!!!! ((: cant wait to step up,step up. heheehhehehe. i hope its good. ive been watching too many crappy movies, i want Step Up 2 to break the curse. pfffftttt.

ok, i gottaaaaaaa crash. morning tml and its crazy cause ill be deployed to 78 AGAIN. TAK MACAM SIAL TU? tsktsk. mengugat kesabaran aku. serious.

& oh,i saw an old friend recently. and he frens-commed me. he asked, " eh kau masih pakai slipa gi club?? siakkk ah ana, tak rubah rubah!!" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. eh gerek pe pakai slipper jogetjoget,kinjekinje. yah, i club with my flipflops! (: i think its comfortable. and yah, biarlah orang nak cakap aper. eh not only that ehhhhhhh, aku blh club pakai tshirt and trackpants okay. HMPH. what matters is, u feel comfortable and good! sooooooooooooooooo,good night partttyyy peopleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

♥

kak hid's Mazda 2R.

my french mani.

as usual, the night started off with soccer, followed by tulang..

timbre artshouse after tulang

private highlanders anni party.

obviously i was too happy to care

flawless

the crowd were banging!

i had deer!!!

& their calamaris were HUGE! (:

yana-loving. member jakon tgk LV.

she: -slapsmyarms- "ama, do u know vivo city has la senza? "

me: YAH of course la i know. i buy frm there what. wahlaoooo.

she: omg!!! SHUTT UP.

me: huh?

she: NO NO SHUT UP. i think spore's gonna have marciano soon.

me: maybe we haf one already but i dont know where.

she: holyfucck,NOW SHUT UP!

whateverr eh yana.

hahaha!

we had similar friendship bands 10 years ago & we decide to follow tradition & here it is!

KAKAKAAHAHHA,yah i am emotional like this. cannot arh?!!

The Yogi who said that i had a lucky face.

sumpah, there are like maybe awhole lot more photos! but i am just gonna upload these few. PENAT SIOLL TUNGGU UPLOAD. anw, aidil came over for dinner just now. i cooked fried rice and all. haha! love you bb. anw, im also waitin for yana to spend the night at her parent's so she can kuaikuai email me the kazillion photos we took together. cant blame me la, my olympus died on me after several hrs of camwhoring. hahhahahah! i miss shaz ismah n naj. n oh, did i mention?! I DIDNT ATTEND NAJ's WEDDING!!! after havin my baju made and all, my sister was being a pain in the ass. blardy hell. takpe, nanti aku kawin,aku tak nak jempot kau! babi peh orang. hmph.

♥

i have like, more than a hundred photos awaiting to be uploaded. but i am restless,tired and sleepy now. i will be drowning myself in work this week but i want to extend invitations for kakhid ira and aris for the SAF vs Rovers game this friday. i dont know why but people say aku kental cause i watch singapore soccer. WAHLAO. whats so bad about that? i think its fun,maybe u people have boring company to watch soccer with,thats why u all say singapore soccer not good. im not an expert la kan, but yah, i dont care if a player fumble or falls, i like the atmosphere of being among hundreds of people and yah,screaming for a common goal and yah, the best part, we get to curse. hahahah. but the best part after the best is that, me and my friends will go for supper and end the day with monopoly after each and every game. so thats why i love sg soccer! and also because, takkan kau nak suroh aku gi msia,to watch soccer kan.TSKKKK.

♥

I wanna whine and bitch about my roster. Last week punye roster dah cantek tau, offs on the right days,macam dorang tau gitu. but this week, sialan to the max. Sampai i might not be able to attend a girlfriend's wedding! APER NIHHHHH. i requested OFF on that day and kau tau dorang peh sial, kasi aku PETANG. what the fuck. then i tempah baju at johor for what fuck. cibai. gerammm. Mr Ismail asked me to fight for my rights on top, macam siak! Kalau on top is my home ground, boleh la aku voice out. woah.

And yah, that J.I guy on the loose is quite scary. He gives me the creeps. Yday, whilst we were jogging at the park, i had this weird feeling; what if he was amongst the bushes and he was actually watchin everyone jog, play badminton, lift up weights..what if?!! i mean, he could be everywhere,right? -_-

Okay, work right now!

♥

I finally paid my NEA fine tonight. what the fucking flying fuck. peh sakit hati. kiwakkk,tu dua ratus, aku boleh untuk derma pat anakanak pat africa eh. Tsk. Bodoh. right now, i have 15 more days to crack my head, to make my $5 turn to $500. how do i make money?

anyyway, as you all can see, i am feeling alittle better. i guess, all it takes for me to feel a little better,was just a punch of courage up my nose. Work was surprisingly fun, my colleagues whom i worked with today, was alright. pretty helpful and friendly and even tho 2 out of the 4 of us,is heavily pregnant, i didnt mind, running up and down, helping them. kalau orang baik dgn aku, of course, aku baik dgn dorang. betul tak betul? jadi orang tak boleh melampau sangat. orang tolong kite, kite tolong balik, insyallah, everything will be okay.

& of course, i demanded to meet aidil after work and thats what i did. i feel better now. alhamdulilah, for yesterday, i was a wreck. i thank god for givin me the opportunity for being strong because, i know, if u pray to god for strength, he wont give you strength. he will give you the opportunity to be strong, and thats what i got. alhamdulilah.

and yah, i will be taking time off my night life, unless it is Midnight Til Dawn Monopoly or lepaking bawah block or what. If it is clubbing and everything that comes with it, i am sorry. those activities will be put on hold i just want to put it on hold. yes,maybe thats what i am supposed to do, just put everything on hold.

just remember people, doesnt mean that things dont work your way one day, it will stay that way forever. it may be that way for days,weeks,months or even years, but one day, things will change. people dont stay unlucky forever, believe in that. goodnight.

♥

i seriously do not feel good right now. I have no idea why. i am probably stressed,most definitely stressed. just now, i had one of the worst dates with Aidil. Everything was terrible about that date and the worst of all the worst things ever was, i think it was me,me & me. just what the fuck is wrong with me. it started with him asking me abt the feud with minahreps with my friends. it got me so angry, i was *this* close to cryin,cant u imagine? urgh. i hate the feeling. and Meet The Spartans is MEREPEK. cakap dgn dorang, STOP IT. i didnt laugh AT ALL. sumpah, u can go ask aidil. i didnt laugh, i was crossing my arms the entire time. APER SIAL DORANG MEREPEK. i felt that those jokes were lame-stupid. macam, SIAKK ARH, terrible. i would have liked it if we watched Leap Years but aidil was being irritating and he made sure, i followed what he wanted. i am sick of always giving in, period. i dont know, maybe i am just sick of it all. i dont feel good, at all. right now, as in right now, my tears are just flowing down my cheeks. see, i am just cryin over the fact that i am stressed or whatever it is i am feeling right now. i had a mental attack just now, i just biol-ed out at the bustop. i think i need to see my psychiatrist soon. i really need help. emotionally unstable and sometimes i feel so freaky. at the music store just now, i randomly turned to aidil, put my head on his chest and just cried. i dont even know why. so many things are happening at the same time and its not helpin that mummy is being a bitch. she thinks she knows it all just because she reads my blog. well, you dont. and thats why, from now on, all my entries will be put to the smallest font. i repeat, my main purpose of bloomin-miracle is to ventilate and it doesnt matter to me if people cant read because thats the initial purpose. aidil and i need private time together. i think i need to sit him down and talk. i wish he isnt sleeping right now. i love him so much, he hugged my arm just now and told me that he loved me, and that just broke my heart. we didnt talk the entire journay back home, i wanted to put my arms around him and apologize for being this way, but i just couldnt. instead, i just glared at him,raised my voice and told him that i didnt feel like talking. like, what the hell,kan? just.whats.wrong.with.me.

and yana is leavin in 3hours. most of my weekdays were spent bringin her around here and there, making sure she saw what she wanna see,and do what she wants to do. and its sad, that shes leaving! :( i feel like crying. after 10 years, to be able to still click so well with each other, means so much. i am glad that u came, babe. i WILL save up and come visit in december, i promise. im definitely glad that she had fun, from my tours and itineries. cheybahh. okay, i gotta go. i want to smoke and wash away all these tears and have a good night sleep.

i am coming back to work again tml. positive thinking,ana. insyallah, everything will be alright. everybody has problems and maybe now is not a good time for me. oh god.